Grace Is Gone is a drama film shot in a low budget independent movie style, its a story about loss and what it meant to accept the loss of someone we love. Centers around the life of Stanley Philips (Stan) played by the talented actor John Cusack, living a dull life with a normal job in furniture store. At the beginning of the movie, his daily life along with his two young daughters. We could see how he struggling becoming both father and mother to them as his wife is serving in Iraq for the army. The kids know their father is lonely especially the older daughter Heidi. Stan seems cold around the kids but it might be because of the roles he needs to play around the kids, which are the strong, firm, authoritative father and at the same time the loving and caring motherly role. It shows when he puts the kids to bed and how he prepares dinner for them.
The news of Stan's wife death is the major turning point in this movie. The unexpected news came to him when he was just getting ready to work, starts his normal daily life. But the news stops everything. Stan discovers himself in the position where he cannot accept the fact of the death, he tried to reasons himself over and over again that this news might not be true. We saw Stan sitting in the living room for hours, up until the kids got home from school. This is the first stage of loss and grief, which is denial and isolation (Santrock, 2009). Stan decided not to tell the kids about the news, instead he wanted to bring them to Enchanted Garden, a theme park in Florida. For Stan at this point, telling the kids the news right there and then might make him feel more guilty. He has been harsh on the kids and maybe in the deeper level he also wants to make sure he is a good father for them, good enough to take care of them alone forever after Grace is gone. During this trip Stan slowly showing his real self, not only the father the kids know, but the person their mother used to fall in love with, the funny and adventurous side of him.
Before they continue their journey to Enchanted Garden, they stopped by at the Stan's mother's house and to discover his younger brother was there but not Stan's mother. Stan's young brother, John received a phone call about Grace's death and confronted Stan on why he do not tell the kids about it. Stan tried to tell John about the reason he needs to bring the kids to Enchanted Garden first but failed, he got angry and pushed John against the wall. This shows the second stage of grief, which is Anger (Santrock, 2009). The intense emotions built up inside Stan that he could not control it any longer, but Stan quickly calm himself and hugged John. At this stage he understood that his brother is his family after all and he will support him even after the absence of Grace. Stan continued the journey with the kids to Enchanted Graden.
While they made a stop at a gas station, Stan went to the public telephone and called home. He listen to their house's answering machine which is Grace voice. Then he talks to Grace, asking her how he should do this, the life without her. Stan mentioned he should be the one who got killed not Grace. At this point, Stan is at the third stage of grief, which is Bargaining. Stan tried to have control on the situation with the "What If" questions. And through this conversation we also found out that the reason Stand wanted to bring the kids to Enchanted Garden is because it was their last holiday spot together before Grace leave the country. Apparently that day Stan was angry at Grace because she was leaving and this trip with the kids might be his form of apology to her, other than wanted to reassure himself that he is capable to make the kids happy even without Grace around.
Stan finally tells the kids about the death of their mother on the way back home from Enchanted Garden, he sat down with the kids at the beach and tell them the news. The ending was done quickly, showing him embracing the kids and telling them they will be fine. I am not sure if Stan is ever accepted Grace's death, but one thing he was sure about is he is capable to take care of the kids, and the journey to Enchanted Garden had taught him ways to love the kids even more, which is by being there for them.
I love how simple this movie was shot and by centering the idea of loss, makes this movie stand out and made the audience watch it until the end. Personally I have experience loss of a family member and loss of a good friend of mine. Both of them are different, the feeling was different. Both of them passed away in such a shock to me. What makes me felt sad the most about the losses are the fact that I did not have the chance to say goodbye to both of them, no final words, no final hugs. Yes, loss of people we love is painful but its part of life, the loss of another reminds us more to live fully. The title of Grace is Gone not only imply to Grace the wife, but also imply to the feeling of how vulnerable we are us human and the fact we have no control on someone's death. For a moment after hearing the news of the loss of someone we love, we questioned God, we questioned universe, or to whoever holds the power and the grace.
reference
Santrock, J. W. (2009). Life-span development. Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill.
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